If you’ve ever heard someone say, “I’m Old Gregg!” in a high-pitched voice, you’ve already had a glimpse into the bizarre world of Old Gregg, the unforgettable character from the British comedy series The Mighty Boosh. Played by comedian Noel Fielding, Old Gregg is a strange, underwater-dwelling creature with a love for Baileys, watercolors, and unsettling conversations. His unique combination of absurdity, awkward charm, and surreal one-liners has made him a cult favorite among fans of offbeat humor.
This article dives deep into the funniest, creepiest, and most memorable Old Gregg quotes ever. Whether you’re a long-time fan or just discovering this eccentric merman for the first time, you’ll find over 251 quotes that highlight why Old Gregg is one of the most iconic characters in British comedy.
From classic moments like “I’ve got a mangina!” to weird philosophical musings, Old Gregg’s quotes are equal parts hilarious and haunting. We’ve also added commentary and emoji reactions to give you extra laughs (or shivers) as you read through each section.
Funny Old Gregg Quotes
Old Gregg is weird, but also laugh-out-loud funny. These funny Old Gregg quotes capture his oddball humor and awkwardly timed punchlines. Whether he’s offering Baileys or asking uncomfortable questions, you can’t help but laugh!
- “Have you ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?” 👞🥃
- “I’m Old Gregg!” 🧜♂️
- “That’s about the size of it.” 🤏
- “Do you love me?” 💘
- “You must love me exactly as I love you.” ❤️🔥
- “You can have a go on the ol’ funk.” 🎸
- “I got all the things that are good.” 🎁
- “What’s the strongest creature?” 🐉
- “We could do some watercolors together.” 🎨
- “I’m gonna hurt you.” 😬
Creepy Old Gregg Quotes
These creepy Old Gregg quotes show the character’s dark, strange side. His blend of desperation and intensity creates a weirdly magnetic (and disturbing) vibe.
- “I got something to show ya” 😶
- “It’s attached to my body.” 🔗
- “I’ve got a mangina!” 😳
- “Underwater funk police – freeze!” 🧊
- “Have you ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?” 👢
- “I’m gonna come at you like a northern bullet.” 💥
- “You’ve seen my downstairs mix-up?” 🔥
- “Ever been to a club where people wee on each other?” 🚫
- “I do watercolors.” 🎨
- “You’re in my cave now.” 🕳️
Weird Old Gregg Quotes
If you’re looking for weird Old Gregg quotes, this section has the most mind-bending lines that define his surreal personality. These quotes are confusing, funny, and strangely philosophical.
- “Maybe I should ask you the same question: What are you doing in my waters?” 🌊
- “I got all the things that are good.” 💫
- “I took you on a journey, a journey into my mind.” 🧠
- “Why can’t we do it now?” ⏳
- “I’m gonna do you in, boy.” 😐
- “Don’t lie to me, boy. You know me.” 👁️
- “I’m not your kind of guy, is that it?” 🥲
- “This is my downstairs mix-up.” 🩳
- “You ever see a man’s downstairs mix-up?” 😅
- “Wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?” 🤯
Classic Old Gregg Quotes
These classic Old Gregg quotes are the ones that every fan remembers. Perfect for memes, references, or awkward party impressions.
- “I’m Old Gregg!” 🌟
- “You know me.” 😌
- “I’m Old Gregg. I got a mangina.” 🚽
- “Have you ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?” 🥾
- “I do watercolors.” 🖌️
- “You’re in my cave now.” 🪨
- “You’ve seen my downstairs mix-up?” 😬
- “You love me?” 🫶
- “That’s how I roll.” 🛹
- “Have you ever been with a powerful man?” 🧔
Old Gregg One-Liners
Old Gregg’s best moments are often delivered in quick, punchy lines. These one-liners are perfect for quoting, meme-making, or just confusing your friends.
- “You know me.” 👤
- “I got a mangina!” 😳
- “Ever drink Baileys from a shoe?” 🥾
- “I’m Old Gregg.” 🧜♂️
- “You’re in my cave now.” 🕳️
- “This is my water world.” 🌊
- “You’ve seen my downstairs mix-up?” 👀
- “I’m gonna hurt you emotionally.” 💔
- “I’m like a fish.” 🐟
- “Come on in, the water’s weird.” 💦
Iconic Old Gregg Catchphrases
These catchphrases are burned into the minds of fans. Whether creepy or funny, they stick with you long after the episode ends.
- “You love me?” 💘
- “I got all the things that are good.” 🎁
- “Wanna see my downstairs mix-up?” 🙈
- “Baileys – smooth, creamy.” 🥃
- “Underwater funk police!” 🎶
- “Let’s do watercolors.” 🎨
- “I’m gonna do you in!” 😤
- “Don’t lie to me, boy.” 🚫
- “This is real, this is me.” 🎭
- “I’m Old Gregg, pleased to meet you.” 🤝
Old Gregg and Baileys Quotes
Old Gregg’s obsession with Bailey’s Irish Cream is both hilarious and slightly disturbing. These quotes show just how deep that love goes.
- “Have you ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?” 👞
- “It’s Baileys. Smooth.” 😌
- “This is the good stuff. Bailey’s 1978.” 🕰️
- “Bailey’s like angel tears.” 👼
- “Baileys and I go way back.” ⏪
- “It’s like drinking silk.” 🧵
- “This Baileys is warm. I like it warm.” 🔥
- “This is my Bailey’s room.” 🚪
- “Baileys brings the truth out.” 📣
- “Pour yourself some Baileys. We’re talkin’ now.” 🗨️
Cave Quotes from Old Gregg
Old Gregg’s cave is more than a home, it’s a whole vibe. These quotes will remind you why you never want to end up there.
- “Welcome to my cave.” 🪨
- “You’re in my world now.” 🌌
- “This is where the magic happens.” ✨
- “These are my paintings.” 🎨
- “This is my Bailey’s shelf.” 🧁
- “You like caves, boy?” ❓
- “The walls talk back.” 🗣️
- “I do my thinking here.” 🤔
- Have you ever slept in a cave?” 🛌
- “It’s cozy, innit?” 🧣
Strange Love Quotes from Old Gregg
Love, for Old Gregg, is more of an obsession. These quotes are awkward, hilarious, and deeply unsettling in all the best ways.
- “You love me, don’t ya?” 🥺
- “Why don’t you love me?” 💔
- “We could be together forever.” ⏳
- “I’m not your type?” 😢
- “Love is like Baileys – rich and weird.” 🥃
- “I made you a painting.” 🎨
- “I wrote a song about you.” 🎵
- “You make me feel like a manfish.” 🧜♂️
- “Can I touch your soul?” ✋
- “You touched my heart.” ❤️
Old Gregg Watercolor Quotes
Old Gregg sees himself as a bit of a creative. These watercolor quotes highlight his odd sense of beauty.
- “I do watercolors.” 🖌️
- “This one’s called Love is Bailey’s.” 💗
- “I paint what I feel.” 🎨
- “This is me, swimming in emotion.” 🌊
- “You can have this one. It’s about us.” 💞
- “Colors talk to me.” 🗯️
- “That’s not pain, it’s passion.” 🔥
- “Watercolors help me cope.” 🧠
- “Do you want to learn?” 🧑🎨
- “I’d paint your soul if I could.” 🖼️
Old Gregg Threats
Sometimes Old Gregg goes from quirky to threatening real quick. These lines balance between hilarious and terrifying.
- “I’m gonna hurt you.” 🧨
- “You don’t know what I’m capable of.” 🔥
- “I’m not just weird, I’m dangerous.” ⚠️
- “I’m the nightmare you never wanted.” 🛌
- “Don’t push me.” 😠
- “You’ll regret that.” 🥶
- “I don’t take rejection well.” 😡
- “Love me, or I’ll destroy you.” 💔
- “This is not a joke.” 🚫
- “You in my cave now, remember?” 🕳️
Confused Old Gregg Quotes
Half of what Old Gregg says doesn’t make sense, and that’s the point. These quotes are random and iconic.
- Have you ever been to a club where people wee on each other?” 🚽
- “Funk is truth.” 🎸
- “I was made in the ocean, but I think I’m from space.” 👽
- “Don’t you lie to me about lying?” 🔄
- “You can’t spell love without fish.” 🐠
- “Time is just an illusion of the mind.” ⏰
- “I’m like a dream that dreams itself.” 💤
- “Ever kiss a fish?” 😘
- “I had a mother once.” 🧓
- “This ain’t your granddad’s funk.” 🎷
Old Gregg Wisdom Quotes
Surprisingly, Old Gregg drops some lines that almost sound wise until you think about them. Here’s his version of deep philosophy.
- “Sometimes love is weird, like fish.” 🐟
- “The funk is in your soul.” 🕺
- “If you don’t know me by now, you never will.” 🎶
- “Everyone’s got a downstairs mix-up. Just be proud of yours.” 🤷
- “Feelings are like waves, weird and wet.” 🌊
- “You don’t choose the cave. The cave chooses you.” 🕳️
- “Truth lives in the funk.” 🎸
- “Life’s just a swim through the weird.” 🏊
- “You gotta be part man, part sea.” 🧜♂️
- “Never hide your true mix-up.” 🩲
Memorable Old Gregg Moments
These quotes come from the most unforgettable moments in Old Gregg’s appearance. If you’ve seen the episode, these lines will hit differently.
- “We could have had a beautiful life!” 💔
- “You think you’re better than me?” 😤
- “I brought you here for a reason.” 📍
- “This is the funk. Respect it.” 🎶
- “I’m not just Old Gregg. I’m an expert.” 🌈
- “I wrote this song for you.” 🎵
- “You can’t leave. Not now.” 🚪
- “That’s not Bailey’s. That’s love in a bottle.” 🥃
- “You’re gonna feel things, boy.” ❤️🔥
- “I’ll never forget you unless I want to.” 🧠
Popular Old Gregg Meme Quotes
The internet loves Old Gregg. These quotes have become memes, GIFs, and viral content everywhere.
- “I got a mangina!” 💥
- “I’m Old Gregg!” 🧜♂️
- “Have you ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?” 🥿
- “This is my downstairs mix-up.” 🚨
- “You love me?” 💖
- “I’m gonna hurt you emotionally.” 💔
- “We could do watercolors.” 🎨
- “I’m not your kind of guy?” 😔
- “I got all the things that are good.” 🧳
- “You’re in my cave now.” 🕳️
Old Gregg Voice Lines
Part of the magic is how Old Gregg says things. These lines hit differently when heard in his eerie, high-pitched voice.
- “You know me.” 🎤
- “Don’t lie to me, boy.” 👀
- “I’m Old Gregg!” 📣
- “You love me?” 💘
- “I got a mangina!” 😳
- “Come on in.” 🚪
- “This is how I roll.” 🛼
- “I got funk and I got love.” 🎸
- “Let me show you something.” 🫣
- “You’re special to me.” 💬
Emotional Old Gregg Quotes
Yes, even Old Gregg gets emotional. These quotes show a softer, more heartfelt side (in his weird way).
- “You make me feel like I matter.” 💞
- “All I ever wanted was love.” 💔
- “I thought we had something.” 🥺
- “You’re the only one who ever saw me.” 👁️
- “I’m not just a freak. I’m feeling.” 🧠
- “We could have painted the world together.” 🎨
- “I believed in us.” 🌌
- “Nobody wants to see the real me.” 😞
- “Even weirdos need love.” 💘
- “You changed my water.” 💧
Old Gregg Dance Quotes
Old Gregg has serious funk energy. These quotes are all about his moves, music, and magic.
- “I bring the funk.” 🎶
- “Dance with me, boy.” 💃
- “I invented sea-funk.” 🌊🎸
- “You like the groove?” 🕺
- “My body is rhythm.” 🪘
- “Music flows through my fins.” 🐠
- “This is the dance of love.” 💃❤️
- “You can’t resist the funk.” 🎧
- “Step into my beat.” 👣
- “The cave’s got acoustics, baby.” 🎵
Quotes About Old Gregg
It’s not just Gregg who speaks. Here’s what other characters say about him or to him sometimes in fear, confusion, or awe.
- “Who is Old Gregg?” 🤷
- “He’s got a mangina!” 😱
- “Why is he so weird?” 🧐
- “Don’t go near the lake.” 🌊
- “He lives in a cave” 🕳️
- “That was unsettling.” 😬
- “You drank it from a shoe?” 🥴
- “I think he’s in love with you.” 💌
- “Did he just say downstairs mix-up?” 😳
- “I’m never swimming again.” 🚫🏊
Weirdly Inspirational Old Gregg Quotes
Old Gregg might not be a life coach, but these quotes weirdly hit home. If you’re into offbeat inspiration, this is your section.
- “Be proud of your mix-up.” 💪
- “Funk your way.” 🎶
- “Weird is wonderful.” 🌀
- “Even in caves, flowers grow.” 🌷
- “You don’t need legs to stand tall.” 🧜♂️
- “Love is messy. So is life.” 💘
- “Dance, even if you’re alone in a cave.” 💃
- “Your weirdness is your power.” ⚡
- “Paint your truth.” 🎨
- “Be the Baileys in a world of water.” 🥃🌍
Conclusion:
Whether you’re a longtime fan of The Mighty Boosh or just discovering the surreal genius of Old Gregg, these quotes show why he’s become a cult classic character. From unforgettable lines like “I’m Old Gregg!” to his weird obsession with Baileys and love, Gregg’s dialogue is endlessly quotable, confusing, and strangely deep.
Here’s why these quotes have stood the test of time:
- They’re funny, bizarre, and oddly relatable
- Perfect for memes, inside jokes, or just cracking up with friends
- A reminder that weirdness can be powerful, funny, and even profound
If you ever find yourself needing a quote that’s equal parts hilarious and disturbing, Old Gregg has you covered. Share these with your fellow Boosh fans, drop them in a meme, or use them as the ultimate quirky icebreaker.
